Rating: 5/5 stars
Yes, I actually saw a movie opening weekend. I know, ridiculous. My mother is in town to help us move and so she took the 2 year old while we took my daughters to Jurassic world. We have done a good job of making our girls thrill seekers so they were pretty pumped.
So as you can clearly see by the rating above I loved it. And I did. I am very, veeeeeery biased though. I never see movies in theaters. And by never I mean once every 3-5 months. Anyway the girls were excited, I was excited, and the movie delivered.
Now don't get it confused, were not going for an Oscar here. This is a summer blockbuster. No plot. Great special effects. I saw it in 3D, which I usually hate but actually it made it better this time. I don't know if it was because the movie did it well, or if it was simply since it had been so long since I had seen a 3D movie. Anyway I thought all of it was great and just worked.
My family's take: So slow in the beginning. My take, awesome in the beginning. So I will try to be as spoiler free as possible, or at least call out the spoilers before well, spoiling them. But what did they expect, the shit to hit the fan in the first five minutes? I mean, yes, the beginning is all an introduction to the characters that we are supposed to care about, and also an introduction to the world where there is a Dinosaur theme park. (side note: is it bad that I want to phonetically spell dinosaur like Dr. DNA says it: Dine-a-Sawr)
I thought the intro was awesome. Getting to know key characters, getting a VIP tour of an incredible theme park, a cool albeit clichéd look at the wizard behind the curtain of the theme park. Not to mention the way they set up Chris Pratt's character was amazing. I mean he is a navy vet, which, nowadays I think Hollywood has figured out that if you slap VET on a character, either army, military, or navy, your going to get the audience rooting for the guy. Anyway back to the slow beginning. I liked it. I was excited for the movie, so I was in a good mood. I snuck in some captain to add to the giant diet soda I purchased for a small fortune, so I appreciated the down time to get appropriately sauced.
Anyway, if you stop and actually think about the realism of the movie, you will quickly see how stupid the whole thing is, and even stupider(ITS A WORD!) is how the people act in the same stupid old tropes that you think they would have learned from. Anyway if one were to be critical and unable to have fun and put on an obvlivious hat and just enjoy the ride they might say this...Now the spoilers---------
SPOILERS-----
I mean come on, scientists paid by some military guy to make some weaponized Dino. Lets send men in five seconds after you cant pick up the Dinos thermo signature in its cell? I knew immediately it was still in its cell.
Oh we cant tell you what kind of Dinosaur it is. Because obviously it has some smart ass raptor is in there....MAN!
Oh I am sure they never cleaned out the old Jurassic park banner or cars or anything, yea lets just leave it there for 20 years.
Yeah, they would let visitors raft down a river with a stegasourus....who even though is an herbivore if is was simply annoying it might just slap a 400 pound spiked mace at your head. I looked it up, that is how much their tail weighs. (I DEFINITELY did not look that up, in fact, I completely made that up, but also, I am sure they would swing with much more pounds per pressure than that.)
Yeah I am sure bullet proof glass hamster balls would completely make them confortable letting people drive themselves around these enormous monsters. Indominous rex had no trouble shattering that glass.
Yeah, no way would they have a panic room in case something went wrong, LIKE IT DID BEFORE, so people could be safe from all of it. I mean, am I a genious, or would a Dinsaur park have safety measures that involved a giant steel bunker that would fit the maximum size of all visitors and staff and have food and water for weeks. Yeah I know, zoos don't dot hat but come on....
SPOILERS OVER---------
So, I did not think of any of that crap until now, because when I was watching the movie, I was simply a spectator to a great time. And I'm just gonna say, the ending was amazing, as far as summer blockbusters go.
So to sum up...Great Time, Great Ride, Great Zoo, Great movie. Also, I think that maybe if I saw this in my own home on a 50 inch LED or plasma or whatever that I would probably have had of those pesky nitpicking thoughts, and it might have ruined the movie. But seeing as how I hadn't been to the theaters in forever, I was in a really good mood for a movie, and I was drinking, this movie is a 5/5.