Cool Ranch Doritos...What Happened?

So for some strange reason, a new bag of Cool Ranch Doritos wound up in my pantry. I think my wife got them for free somehow, because she would never buy them since I have never mentioned to her that I was obesed with them when I was younger. Yes I combined obssessed and obese, because the reason I never mentioned it was because I am a large man now, and when I ate them in my youth my metabolism could handle my poor eating choices.

Anyway there they are in my pantry so no matter how slow-chugging my middle age metabolism is I decide to eat them. First chip, meh. Second chip, wtf. Third chip, ok something's terribly wrong. Why do I suddenly not like the most delicious chip ever made? 

They just weren't appealing. They didn't taste stale either, just a chip that I knew would never satisfy my pangs.  I guess I am just no longer a Cool Ranch guy. Needless to say it still took me half a bag to confirm this. And ultimately, now writing this it makes me want to go back and try them again. Clearly I will have to try a new bag, as maybe I got a dud. Its possible. Stay tuned.

Update: Yeah don't like em anymore, weird wild stuff.

Review: Birman

Worth Seeing: Yes

The Gist:

So I really enjoyed this movie. I will say this it is very unique. Keaton and Norton are amazing in it. Best acting I have seen from them, well maybe not Norton. The ending is ambiguous so that might turn you off. Expect to be taken on a ride and not necessarily get closure on a lot of things. But oh what a weird magical ride it was.

Spoiler full review:

I can't really explain what drew me into this movie. I mean, it is so not the type of movie I would like. Maybe it is some leftover nostalgic love for Keaton(Batman-Birdman). I think it hits on something well and Emma Watson says it best: Everyone wants to feel like they matter and nobody does. I mean that rang true to me as here I am blogging to no-one just to have my opinion out there.

Anyway I liked how Keaton actually blunders and falls back into celebrity and then ultimately, his attempt at suicide has the theater critics raving about how amazing his play was. And lets talk about that ending. Do you think he committed suicide? I mean, the whole movie led up to his trying to at the play. He also told a story about trying to commit suicide earlier in his life walking into the ocean.  I don't know, I am a little kid at heart so I imagine him finally showing off his birdman powers to the world. This is obviously utterly ludicrous but I don't know, the magical ambiguity the whole movie was kind of charming to me where I can say it annoyed the hell out of a friend of mine.

Anyway so I liked it and it seems the Oscars did too. One thing I did not care for was the whole Emma Watson and Norton love interest. But man did I love the scenes with birdman. And in the middle of the movie where Keaton jumps of the movie I actually gasped in surprise thinking he was dead.

Review: The Gambler

Worth Seeing: No

The gist:

Ok so I saw the gambler, and while I can say I enjoyed the movie, I came away knowing that it was not a good movie and that other people probably would not like it. This movie falters not because of the acting, but mostly because of the plot seems to go nowhere but predictable places.

The spoiler full review(I will discuss the ending and other things:

I will say the beginning of the movie had me on the edge of my seat with each dealt hand. And then it became cringe worthy as he started doubling down after each win. So I thought it was a nice setup. Wahlberg played this so nonchalantly as if the money made no difference to him, which you will find out later it kind of doesn't, since his family is loaded. So I thought it was a very cool start that then started to fizzle as nothing much happens.

Straight to the end then. So he eventually borrows money so that he can gamble it all on black or red and hits it, so he pays everything off. Good, our antihero gets out and his love interest wont be murdered by lone-sharks. Although, the tone of this movie seemed like it would be better if it had gone the other way. I don't know. Are we left thinking Wahlberg has changed his ways and is not a gambler. That is his final line, I'm not a gambler. Which was a sweet line, considering the whole movie. And it is almost believable considering what he lectures on about needing to hit rock bottom then redeem himself. But I think it fell just a little flat.

Anyway Like I said I enjoyed the movie, but I tend to enjoy every movie.

The Tightrope that is Changing a Stinky Diaper

I was changing a Diaper today when I was able to take a step back for just a second and realize how stressed out I was about it. I think it is because I change our one year old son on a carpet instead of any changing table or blanket or anything. I mean, even hard-floor spillage would make for an easy clean up. But I don't know, I think I would be stressed either way. Maybe it is the hundreds of tiny things that could go wrong at any second while in the process.

So, my process. I start by opening the diaper and assessing the damage. At this point I am for some reason always surprised at the amount and immediately thrown to Defcon 5(no Idea on appropriate defcon levels).

I then have to carefully pull the fece'd diaper to the side, making sure not to let it fall open and spill its contents or even just land wrong. It is at this point that I realize the two or three wipes I have prepared will  not suffice so I reach for another few. Yes they are in reach this is my third child I'm no amateur. Of course as soon as I go to reach for them I get bombarded with his first attempt to feel around down there and come up with a fistful of gold, the curious little asshole. 

When I fend him off and get to the wipes I pull one and does it come free, no, it hangs on to the rest of its buddies for dear life, forcing me to flap at it like there were no paper towels after washing my hands. I get a few free and throw them at his butt and start wiping. I wipe a few times and then am immediately relaxed, the threat is over and just some minor clean up is all that's left.

Crisis averted. And though I don't feel stressed anymore it quickly turns to annoyance, because no matter how many times you swear this will be the last wipe, your going to need one more, as there is always some nook or cranny missed.

So that is me changing poopy diapers. Yes I could put down a blanket or use a changing table, or could use the mouth of the wipes pack so that they don't stick to the last one, but I am a guy, so I deal with the mini stress of the situation and get it done.